Lagos living :
– Bobo Omotayo.
If you’ve not been Privileged to read This book, it is a must read I tell you, Bobo Omotayo’s bestselling book “LONDON LIFE LAGOS LIVING”. This book is hilarious but at the same time holds facts. The struggle as a Lagosian! Lagosians are disgusting twats, Lagos can be very demanding, energy consuming and HUSTLE full!
The best part was when I saw the Staged edition of this book at the TARUWA festival Lagos, the play was an awesome presentation! I’ll just share a little. And please if you fall in any of the categories I’m about to mention, REPENT! Biko. And please share this Post
Peeing in public: The street of Lagos has become a Public and quite comfortable toilet for any Lagosian(Male) to bring out his Penis ***** and start to do his business even in BROAD DAY LIGHT This is not a good idea on any front. Where is your HUMAN DIGNITY? You see how much of a failure you are Peeing into Gutters. No. Peeing into gutters while smiling at passing motorists and pedestrians and waving your FLAG(*****). Making people see penis at every corner of the road.
The Orisirisi in Dating- they will be satisfied to eat out but when it is time to pay the satisfaction changes, Ladies will never come alone for a “date” when it is a “date” they’ll always ask “can my friend join us…?” When it is time to order the guy sits and listens to them make ridiculous orders, ordering a bottle of Petrus when she doesn’t even know the difference between Merlot and pinot Noir grapes. The “date” turns into an open discussion between the girl and “my friend” while the guy sits busy with his blackberry phone because he cannot fit into their conversation why would you struggle to get a table at GOLDEN GATE when you’re not familiar with its cuisine? And then you’ll complain he is not understanding. Why?
But really ladies- is it fair? it is a privilege that a guy chooses to pay the bills, not a right! The same way it is a privilege a woman cooks for her man, not a right!
So the idea that just because he took you out doesn’t mean you should leave your GTBank card at home. Even if he wasn’t expecting you to pay, it is console to know that you offered to pay. And please LADIES stop bringing your friends along on your “date”.
Pata on the Line: you’ll think that owning a washing and drying machine is pure Luxury but in Nigeria, Lagos especially! It is as important as the dream Plasma Tv screen. For a few Years Plasma Tv’s have become the ultimate, the average Lagos face-me-i-face-you house has a plasma Tv screen. It is the new i-better-pass-my-neighbour status symbol. Why are we talking about washing machine? Unless you have high fences and your neighbours can’t see your compound, drying your underwear on outdoor wires, like LeBron James’ acting career is not the best option for you. It is not a good move! You cannot dry your entire wardrope of PATA a.k.a underwear. They might include thongs, those your huge boxers, and girdles. They might even be fading and torn, this is why you need your privacy just wash and dry with the machines.
I Pray all this has sunk in.
A large percentage of the entire human Race is guilty of all these, and not just my dear LAGOSIANS.
Live in Lagos but don’t be a “Lagosian”. Don’t be an irritating twat.
“Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing you can do,
Now you’re in LAGOS!!!
These streets will make you feel brand new, the traffic horns will deafen you, the olopas(police) will harass you
Let’s hear it for Lagos, Lagos.. *use the glee “New York” tone to sing this*
Thank you. 🙂
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