“Come” he said, it was one of those invites I was supposed to dance at as my brain cells knew him as my uncle, family of some kind.
“Go and buy biscuit.” He jottered my brother away.
I was a 4 year old who maybe knew that physical connection was desired only during my “BRIDAL PATH”.
He looked outside my age, outside my understanding and the innocence that surronded around the woman I was becoming;
“Turn around.” Another command I answered without a check of my innocence. He tried to have his way with FORCE ; for minutes I forgot how the sunshine sweentened, I forgot the melt of chocolate, and the sound of my own giggle; all I knew was PAIN
Suddenly mama showed up and broke the thundering moment, she saved me and she beat me and I wondered WHY?
Screaming inwardly, pain stabbed steadily every minute, why would she beat me ? I was a 4 year old who didn’t know that my loins would be visited at that age.
For a very long time my vision entertained that notion, with no one to talk to, no one to share the torment.
My assailant might have been living “happily ever after” but I still had drunk bottles from drinking questions that I couldn’t answer
Forgiveness felt the sunshine and I spoke and love cut away the wayward lock of memories. ..I spoke to someone…
The feelings I had got exhausted, yes a good kind of exhausted.
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