“My mum has been a strong woman. So strong, she can literally carry the world on her shoulders. She can shift mountains. Take on under taker etc… She just never does any of these because she doesn’t want paparazzi to invade her family’s privacy and everything.” (please notice that this is in Quotes)
And I continue….
We attend Ecwa church(Hausa), a semi-english speaking church. By semi, I mean we only chip in English in some of our Hausa sentences or when there are special preachers on special occasions. Every sunday morning, my mum would wake us girls at about 7am to do the normal Nigerian Sunday afternoon rice routine and by 9am, we would set out for the house of God. By 2pm, after everyone, the pastor and God had gone to rest for the day, we would still be in the house of God. We’ve gotten use to this Routine so we seldom Complain, but every once in a while My brother and I would go to our mother crying.(Not literarilly)
CHILDREN: *weeping* Mummy we’re tired and hungry. We want to go home.
MUM: Are you not children of God?
CHILDREN: Yes we are.:(
MUM: then enjoy staying in his house.
My mum would kiss me goodnight every night, when I was little. Now if I move too close to her, in the parlour she asks;
MUM: “What do you want? Am I your mother?
ME: Ehen naw.
MUM: No I’m not. Your mother is in India.( Let me make it clear for people like my brother that take sarcasm too seriously. She doesn’t mean this part, ofcourse! She’s my mother.)
ME: *sigh*(to myself) and I don’t have long hair
My sister still tells me regularly that I’m adopted. Lol.
If you think your mother is annoying and you want a change, and a mother to help you wreck your life, feel free to come rent my mother. My mum was the women fellowship leader, is a sunday school teacher at our church, Ecwa Church(Hausa) and she’s always one of the last people to leave church. Old habits die hard. If my mother sees me wearing anything she doesn’t like she’ll just give me that eye and you can tell it means “why are you dressed like this, we’ll meet at home”. So as not to embarrass you depending on the people around. We Nigerian children we understand the different eye languages with our Mothers. When someone is giving you something and you look at your mother you know when she’s saying “if you collect it you’re in trouble”
My mum finds it easy to terrorize me as often as possible, but when she stands up for me, it’s extremely cute. One day, I got punished in school by my seniors for telling on them when the hostel mistress threatend to Flog us all if we didn’t say who was Making Noise after light out. That Night I couldn’t climb my top bunk bed, because my legs were weak from the punishments. The next day my mother found out, she came to my school after the wedding she attended with her “aligogoro” still loosely tied to her head and her “Gele” on her waist the Way she was coming furiously you could tell this Woman was coming to “let all HELL loose” so she met the hostel mistress
Mum: where is she?? (The senior)
And the hostel mistress sent for her.
Hostel mistress: Faith, “so you went to call your Mummy”??
Mum: ehen! Why shouldn’t she call me!
And ofcourse I increased my cry, to look more pained!
Senior student: good evening ma
Mum: so you’r the one that wants to break my daughters legs, is she the one that sent you to make noise after light out?? what kind of punishment did you give her een?? Why will you punish a child to the extent they can’t sleep? I didn’t send her to school to die, I didn’t say you cannot punish her
ME: *eyebrow raised*
Mum: but why will you punish a child to the extent they can’t sleep? ….etc…
When your mum stands up for you anywhere, you know you’re set for life.